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5/12/2018 Confessions Of A Book Addict

I had every intention of coming here today and writing about the Jung book, which is very interesting by the way. His view of religion and it being an expression of the minds collective unconscious, is enveloping and complex to read about, if you are into that deep stuff man. But, I also realize that most people are not into that type of thing. I am working on not being so intense all the time. I think sometimes it is a character flaw, but it is who I am. So anyhow, since not everyone cares about analyzing religion and consciousness, I will tell you about the book I am reading right now called “Everything Everything”.

I am only about halfway through and I won’t blog until Next Saturday. So, take what you can, and read this book too. It’s pretty good. This girl, Maddy, has an illness that keeps her confirmed to her bubble like state in her home. She is homeschooled and reads a lot of books. She has a caretaker and her mother is a physician. There are new neighbors that move in next door, particularly a boy named Olly. Maddy notices that Olly's father is abusive, very abusive towards the entire family, especially Olly. They begin having secret conversations online, as Maddys mother doesn’t want Maddy creating unrealistic expectations for herself by believing that she could ever have a real relationship, with anyone, with her illness. Her caretaker sees though, that Maddy craves someone to talk to, someone to relate to, someone to just say how she feels, so she arranges for Olly and Maddy to meet face to face. She thinks that this will quell Maddys need to leave the house to be with Olly. That’s as far as I have gotten though. More to come next week.

I get up pretty early every day, around 4am; it’s my circadian rhythm I guess. Google that, it’s interesting stuff. But anyhow, I try to sleep in on the weekends, try to being key here. I was on my way to the gym this morning around 5, and I stopped to throw some trash out at the carwash. When I stopped, I was welcomed by a man that was passed out by the trash can, with a used needle and syringe, and some garbage lying beside him. I live in a railroad town, or what used to be a railroad town. Now, it’s just one of those quiet places that is full of too many restaurants, dollar stores, and closed minded folks, and definitely not enough common sense. Factor in a major drug addiction problem, little to no job opportunity, and a generation of people that are totally dependent on the government to survive, and you will see it’s a happy little place to live. I think sometimes that I have seen a lot in my 34 years, coming from a medical background and emergency room overdoses. But, when I come face to face with a human that is probably at their lowest in life with a homemade tourniquet hanging off their arm and all; it makes me wonder what the hell is the point of all this. How do people land here? Why do we let ourselves fall into such dark places and chose to stay there? Is it possible really to stop caring about everything and just be this, whatever this man was? I have the willpower, now, to pull myself from those dark places, with the help of meditation and medication. It was a strange, and scary morning.

I should not be so negative about my home though. This is still a beautiful place to live, in these mountains. They make me feel small and remind me of my insignificance. I know these mountains know the secret to no boundaries and happiness.

I am going to wait until Monday to finish this little book. I will be out of town for work, and in the airport early Monday morning. So I’ll just wait to sit in the airport and cry over it in front of complete strangers. You know, most people hate leaving their families to travel for work, and I have to pretend I do as well, just so I don’t look like the selfish mother that I really am (insert shoulder shrug). But, secretly, I love it. I think it’s the free food and the escape from being a taxi cab to my little humans, that I do love so much.

Here is a picture I took on my way to the gym this morning, minus the passed out drug addict. Happy Saturday friends. I am off here to participate in baseball and grocery store adventures all day.

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