I didn’t blog on Saturday because I didn’t really have anything to say. I have been sick. Some nasty kid (that lives with me and is my own child) gave me strep throat and it has made me ridiculously fatigued. My immune system is not the best, so my body is working overtime to fight off everything that these little germ factories, that live with me, bring home every day. Anyhow, I was too fatigued to do any real reading, but I am on the mend, and am eating real food today. This is a huge step, considering I have been eating scrambled eggs for 5 days.
Actually, I wrote this blog post while sitting on my back deck on Tuesday, eating a three lay banana moon pie. It was delicious, and so was the sunshine we had. We have not had much in the way of sunshine here in Kentucky, due to geomagnetic reversal/climate change/Kentucky PMS, but I am so happy we had some today. The lack of it makes me sad, like literally. Sunshine and other things trigger natural serotonin production in the body, and serotonin is the neurotransmitter that helps us to feel happy.
When serotonin is produced, melatonin (a hormone your body makes to help you sleep) production is delayed. Melatonin is produced in the pineal gland. This little gland helps to maintain your body’s circadian rhythm or its sleep cycle. So, when you have a lack of serotonin, you feel sad, tired, and depressed. When you go outside in the sunshine, your body recognizes the sunlight via your optical nerves, and this begins to aid in brain chemistry regulation of different hormones. In serotonins case, the pineal gland slows its melatonin production, which in turn increases your bodies serotonin production. Then BOOM, feeling fine in the sunshine. Well, it would be nice if it was that easy, but you get the point. Sunshine can make you feel good, so go outside and soak it up. You learned something today too.
Also, there are plenty of other reasons you could be sad, not just lack of sunshine. You have to figure those things out for yourself though. May I suggest meditation, finding a friend to talk to if you can, someone you trust, or maybe a mild antidepressant. Maybe, you should read that Jordan Peterson book too. Yeah, everyone should do that. It does help to remind you of how to be better.
Sometimes though, when we are trying to be better, it hurts and maybe even makes us a little bit miserable. I have a friend, who is going through a rough breakup right now. She is very delusional about her expectations and standards in men though, which is why I think she is having a hard time. She has no self-confidence, and has father issues too. I have tried to talk her through this, as this fella is done with her, but she has been inconsolable. She does not believe she is good enough for anyone else, and has convinced herself that she will be like this forever. When I talk to her, I almost have dejavu from helping friends in high with the same issues. Someone told her to rip it off like a band aid, get it over with, which was probably a good idea, but she is not doing well. She is trying to not talk to him, text him, drive by his house (creeeepy), but she seems to have convinced herself that she will not be the same without him, without ever talking to him again.
I feel like I cannot be very helpful in regards to ways of the heart, as I suffer from my own problems, just like everyone else. But I did tell her this, “There will be some days that you just want to tell somebody something so bad, like how your day was yesterday, or when something really great happened in your life, because you feel like talking to them and telling them, makes you feel like the best version of yourself, that they may be the only other person who would get it. But, you know you can’t do it, because you are trying to heal. Even though you may think that you will never connect with anyone in that way, ever again. You still can’t do it, because it is not good for you.”
Que her self-medicating, and crying, and all that, but it was truth.
There is a line in this book, that is pretty damn relevant. I think it signifies goals and desires. “It’s a curse you know, to be able to look higher than you are allowed to reach.”
Happy Hump Day.